No Turning Back
by shana852963
Summary: As Wormtail continues his work as a spy against the Order, he realizes that he has passed the point of no return. He can no longer turn back; he's too far down the Dark path he's chosen.


"-There is, ah, plans to send Order members into Albania come late Fall," Peter Pettigrew recited sheepishly as he stood, shaking, in front of two hooded figures. Sweat dripped from his face as he tried to read the expressions of the two he stood before to see if they were pleased with this information. He realized, of course, the masks they wore made this impossible.

"Is that it?" the Death Eater on the right asked coolly.

Peter's heart dropped. "No!" he said at once. "Dumbledore has-has been speaking with that Auror, Moody, a lot. I believe that the two of them might know something that they aren't telling the rest of the Order."

"Do _you _know what they are discussing?" the second Death Eater asked.

"N-No," Peter admitted. "But-"

"Then how will that information help the Dark Lord?" the first Death Eater spat. "You are _pitiful, _Pettigrew. You're in the Order of the Phoenix, and yet you can't give us one scrap of useful insight. Do they not trust you? Or are they simply wise enough not to bother to tell you anything of value?"

Peter gulped and shifted his gaze down to the ground.

"The only thing keeping the Dark Lord from disposing of you for your uselessness," the second Death Eater continued. "Is the fact that you still remain one of Lily and James Potter's closest friends. Do you have _any _idea where they are hiding?"  
"No, they-they are using the Fidelius Charm," Peter said. "I've told you; I am not their Secret Keeper. I cannot help you."

"Who _is _their Secret Keeper then?" the first Death Eater sneered. "Surely you know at least that information."

"I would bet anything that they picked Sirius Black," Peter replied. "Him and James have been closer than brothers since our first year of school."

"So we will attack Black," the second Death Eater stated. "And get him to reveal-"

"He won't," Peter said quickly. "Sirius…he would sooner die rather than give up Lily and James' location."

"Would he? Or are you merely trying to protect your friend?"

Peter pursed his lips. "I've told you before; my loyalty now lies with the Dark Lord. My old friends…they mean _nothing _to me anymore."

"Then _prove it_," the first Death Eater. "Bring us information that will help get the Dark Lord the boy."  
Peter blinked. "The-The boy? Which boy? Not…You don't mean the Dark Lord is after Lily and James' _son_? Harry?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No, but-but what purpose could killing a child have?" Peter asked weakly. "I don't understand-"

"It's not your place to understand what the Dark Lord does," the first Death Eater snapped. "It's your place to obey his commands. He has his reasons he wants the child dead."

Peter said nothing.

"We'll be back at the end of the month for another report," the second Death Eater said. "For your sake, it better go better than this one."

And with that, the two Death Eaters disapparated, leaving Peter alone. He let out a long moan that he felt he had been holding inside for far too long. It had been one year since he had started working for the Dark Lord. One long year of serving as a spy against the very people he used to consider to be his family. And not for the first time during the year, Peter couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right choice…

The moment they left Hogwarts, the other three Marauders wasted no time signing up for the Order eagerly. But Peter wasn't like them; he never had been, for the idea of joining the Order frightened him. Signing up to fight the most powerful Dark wizard the world had ever seen? That was the last thing he had wanted to do. But he did it, reluctantly, to follow James, Sirius, and Remus, just as he had always done. As soon as he signed up for the Order, Peter regretted it. Nearly every day, news came in of deaths, tortures, and kidnappings. You-Know-Who was only growing more and more powerful. Peter wanted out, but he knew that nobody would ever let him live down the shame. So he did the only thing he could think of; he sought out protection by turning to the Dark Lord himself. But lately it seemed that even working for the Dark Lord couldn't protect him. Peter knew that if he didn't bring forth something worthwhile, he would be killed.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door of his small cottage. Instinctively, Peter drew his wand as he rushed over and peered out the window.

"Wormtail, it's me," hissed the familiar voice of Sirius Black. "Let me in, will you? It's about to storm any minute."

"P-Padfoot," Peter said, pulling a strained smile onto his face as he let Sirius inside. "What-What do I owe this pleasure to?"

"We need to talk," Sirius said, slightly out-of-breath himself. "This is important."

Peter felt his blood grow cold. Did Sirius suspect he was a spy?

"I know I've never told you directly, but surely you must know that I'm Lily and James' Secret Keeper," Sirius told him.

"I-I assumed, yes," Peter nodded. "Is everything alright with them?"

"Yes, they're all still safe," Sirius said. "Lately…Lately I've been worried, though. Many people know how close James and I are. If anybody had to pick the person who'd be trusted with something this important, of course they'd think of me."

"You're worried the Dark-that You-Know-Who will find you and kill you?" Peter asked.

"No, you know I'd die for Lily and James!" Sirius retorted, almost offended. "However…there are ways of making someone reveal information against his will. You know my cousin, Bellatrix, is a talented Legilimens. She's sure to have taught several of the Death Eaters her tricks. And no matter what Dumbledore says, I know Snape isn't to be trusted. He can whip up a powerful batch of Veritaserum in his sleep. I'm worried that the Death Eaters may be able to make me reveal their location without meaning to."

"I see…" Peter said slowly.

"That's why," Sirius said slowly. "I think we need to change the Secret Keeper."  
Peter stepped back, clearly surprised. "What?"

"I told Lily and James, and they agree that it's for the best," Sirius went on. "Our number one priority needs to be keeping them and Harry safe."

"Who-Who would the new Secret Keeper be?" Peter asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Remus?"

"No!" Sirius said right away. "Wormtail…I'm afraid Remus may-may have turned spy."

Peter took another step back, this time stumbling into the armchair behind him. "_Remus_? A spy?"

"I know, I didn't want to believe it either," Sirius said heavily. "But he's be acting…off, lately. And Dumbledore is certain someone in the Order has been passing information along to You-Know-Who. I hope I'm wrong, but still, I don't think it will be wise to make him the Secret Keeper. James and I…we were thinking it could be you."

"M-Me?" Peter squeaked.

"You're perfect," Sirius said. "You-No offense, but nobody would suspect you. You've always been quiet, unsuspicious-"

"Weak?" Peter finished for him.

"No," Sirius said firmly, clasping his shoulder. "You're not weak, Peter, and this is your time to show it. Help Lily and James, your closest friends. Help them protect Harry!"

Peter could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Why wasn't he leaping at this news? This was more than he could ever hope for.

"Is there somebody else?" Peter asked in a voice hardly louder than a whisper. "Anybody else you could make Secret Keeper? Maybe Dumbledore-"

"James and Lily want someone they can trust," Sirius replied.

"And they don't trust Dumbledore?"

"They do," Sirius said quickly. "But you've been one of James' closest friends for years. You have a bond."

Peter clenched his fists and took a few deep breaths to steady his breathing.

"Alright," he finally said. "I'll do it."

"Brilliant," Sirius said, releaved. "You're doing the right thing, Wormtail."

"How does it work?" Peter mumbled.

"Come with me," Sirius said. "I'll take you to Lily and James. James will perform the charm to remove me as the Secret Keeper and make _you _the new one."

Peter nodded. "Alright."

"Come on, then," Sirius said, reaching for Peter's hand.

"Now?"

"I told you, this is urgent," Sirius said. "We have to act fast."

Peter extended a shaking hand and grasped Sirius'. "Let's go then."

* * *

Later that evening, Peter returned to his cottage, cold sweat sticking to him.

It was done; he had officially been made Lily and James' Secret Keeper. He alone was the only thing keeping the family from meeting its certain end.

This was it; he finally had the information that would secure his place in the Dark Lord's inner circle. He'd be safe, at least for the time being, and would likely even be praised and regarded as hero! Imagine that; little Peter Pettigrew, a hero.

Peter carefully rolled up the sleeve of his left arm, revealing the fresh print of the Dark Mark that had been branded onto his flesh just weeks before. His finger hovered over the mark as he let out a strained moan.

He never thought it would come to this. He thought he'd simply have to pass along snippets from Order meetings; maybe slip a date of an upcoming attack. When he joined the Order he never thought he'd be trusted with any task of real importance, and up until now, he had been right.

What was he going to do? Was he really going to sell out his best friend and his family just to save his own skin?

"He'll kill me if I don't do this," Peter muttered under his breath, his finger twitching.

But what if he turned back now? Was that an option?

Peter ran through the scenario in his mind. He'd have to go to Dumbledore and tell him everything; tell him how he had been the one serving as a spy against the Order. And even if the rest of the Order turned against him, he was sure Dumbledore could offer him protection. After all, hadn't he done the same with Snape?

But was Dumbledore's protection any match for the Dark Lord?

Peter let out an involuntary squeak. It was no use, he couldn't change his course now; he was too far down this path. There was nothing else he could do besides continue down it now.

And so, his finger still trembling, he stroked the Dark Mark on his forearm; try to brace himself for what was set to come next.


End file.
